i shouldnt

i shouldnt wait in front of the computer for so long

this is the second time

i am waiting for more than one hour

like a sohai

really like a sohai

dun ask me why i wait

you can say i can do something else

you can say is my problem to wait

i just dun wan to disappoint you

when you back and i am not around

but, you never feel guilty when you back

and you are very happy to tell me some other things

then you forget, is you ask me to hold on

i assume, hold on means wait

finally, i understand assume is

the ass hole of you and me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

when i said i have some appointments in singapore

you asked : why? i thought you come here just for me

i am thinking

can we be more mature?

i used so much money fly to singapore

and definitely it basically is for you

but, it didnt means i shall all the time stick with you

can i use some times to meet my friends?

can i? am i too over to spend times with my friends?

while actually i do invite you to join us.

LORD, please tell me what to do?

lead me the way i can go

for me to feel that,

i am not a rubbish

i am not a fucking useless guy

i am not a mistake creater

let me feel that

sometime

i can be a man also

i am tired

frankly

i am really tired with this

what shall i do?

can i just bang myself at the expressway tomorrow?

to release myself to hard to breath again?

lead me?

or, i will follow you tomorrow, LORD